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Showing posts from November, 2010

Countdown to Zero (2010)

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I haven't had much time lately for movies, but I did manage to rent and watch this after that whole Korean artillery strike thing that went on a few days ago.  This is actually a documentary, not a movie, so I am not really sure how I should go about reviewing it.  It was still a really interesting watch. You can probably guess from the cover art that this is a movie about nukes, and because of this, also involves lots of TERRORISM.  I am pretty tired of the word after so many years of constantly seeing it in the media, but I suppose it can't be ignored!  Most of the film involves things like how many nukes each nation has, and how many of said WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION are...missing.  Yes missing, somehow, our trusted governmental leaders have somehow managed to lose quite a few of these world ending, million dollar explosive devices.  Luckily is doesn't focus on scaring you like some of the other TERRORISM documentaries have in the past,  it's primary goal i

The Expendables (2010)

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I don't think I have ever seen a more anticipated action movie than this one, with the piles of youtube videos and trailers clocking millions of views.  It seemed to almost drop off the face of the earth when it actually hit the big screen though. I didn't hear anything about it until recently when I found out it was being released next week.  With an all star cast like this, how could they screw it up?  The story is...definitely not the focus here.  Some crazy ass dictator is causing all sorts of trouble for the peaceful inhabitants of a non existent island somewhere in South America.  "The Expendables", a legendary crew of (aging) mercenaries are called in to deal with the issue directly using all sorts of fun explosives and high powered weaponry.  I am a huge fan of well done action movies, but it can't be "copied" action.  There has to at least be an interesting arch villain or new movie mechanic that makes things actually interesting.  A good ex

2010: Moby Dick

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Asylum, the illustrious creators of movies like "Titanic II" and "Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus" is at it again in this remake of the classic tale of Ahab vs the great white whale Moby Dick.  Yes, that is in fact a modern day ship on the movie poster.  But this is not Ahabs vessel...  Asylum isn't known for modesty in it's films.  Journey into the depths with a custom built whale-hunting military grade nuclear submarine! Now THAT is entertainment! The story is your typical Moby Dick tale with a modern spin.  Ahab was in his 20's when Moby decided to make a meal out of his submarine and kill the rest of the crew.  He escapes with one less leg and a serious grudge against the poor whale.  Fast forward 40 years and Ahab is the captain of his very own military submarine.  Unfortunately, his sanity has taken a pretty serious beating in his old age, and being the genius that he is, he takes off with the 2 billion dollar sub, kidnaps a marine biologist (who talk

Lottery Ticket (2010)

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My least favorite part of pretty much every movie is the inevitable downfall after the main character(s) hit their climax of success.  Just that feeling of everything crumbling down is uncomfortable.  I have seen a few movies that completely skip this aspect, and to be completely honest, I don't miss it at all.  This movie does the EXACT OPPOSITE.  You can probably guess from the title that the main character (Kevin Carson) wins the lottery. Unfortunately, he finds out that the prize claim office is closed for the holidays.  This is where that dramatic tension comes into play... for the rest of the movie.  See, Kevin isn't the sharpest tool in the shed when it comes to... well anything.  What better way to wait out the weekend than to take a 100,000 dollar loan from a nearby crime boss and blow it all in a day while he waits?  This movie is swimming in African American stereotypes.  Normally it wouldn't bug me too much.  I have found plenty to enjoy in this style of hum

A Christmas Carol (2010)

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Yay for the holidays, where we are bombarded by all sorts of remakes and Harry Potter movies.  I think this one has been redone 5 times now?  Maybe more if you count all of the cartoon series that attempt to emulate it. Can Jim Carrey and CGI save the franchise from the same disease that cripples most of the other rehashes? I think everyone knows the story here, and if you don't then you are probably from a tribe in the middle of the amazon and not reading this blog anyway.  Everyone's favorite stingy asshole, Scrooge, is doing his best to live out the last few years of life alone as all sorts of people storm into his shop begging him for money.  One chilly Christmas eve night, he is visited by three ghosts that each want to show him how crappy his death will be if he doesn't fix his attitude and start stimulating the economy with his hard earned shillings.  You probably know the rest. The CGI is really well done, and if you have ever read any of my other reviews before

Predators (2010)

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I've always been a fan of the Predator movies.  Like most classics, the last few "revamps" have been less than amazing.  I think this is more due to nostalgia than anything though.  I sometimes wonder what would have happened if these newer Alien and Predator movies were actually released years ago.  Maybe it was just due to the technology back then, and the fact that these days we are much more desensitized to it.  If I go back and watch the old ones, there really isn't THAT big a difference.  They were still somewhat mindless action movies.  But they did it first right?  So I guess that instantly makes them superior to anything we released in the digital age. Predators has a very straightforward story, almost too much so...  They literally just drop the cookie cutter action star team onto an alien planet and say go for it.  If you have seen any Predator movies in the past, you can probably guess why they were dropped there.  It's a game preserve and they are t

Extraordinary Measures (2010)

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I honestly don't like Brendan Fraser much.  The first time I saw him in a movie was years ago and it was probably the most awkward and strange movie I have ever seen, and his character is batshit insane throughout the whole thing.  This has tainted my views of him for life I'm afraid.  Harrison Ford on the other hand is a badass, so when I heard he was in this movie, I had to pick it up.  Extraordinary Measures is about a businessman (Brendan Fraser) who has two kids with the muscle deteriorating disease Pompe (not to be confused with the Volcano, Pompeii).  As his daughter nears her 9th birthday, and the end of the overall lifespan for kids with this disease, he decides to drop everything and focus 100% on a cure for the illness.  Unfortunately, all sorts of medical company nonsense is going on, so he takes matters into his own hands and opens a biotech institute where he recruits the grumpy old Pompe specialist Dr. Robert Stonehill to do the actual sciency stuff.  I hones

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (2010)

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I am not normally a fan of Micheal Cera movies.  They are usually way too down to earth and slow for me.  This one on the other hand... holy shit.  It's about time he did something awesome. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (which I think looks better with a capital T for "the World" but grammar says otherwise) is about a kid who finds himself head over heels in love with a crazy hipster girl with hair that randomly changes colors throughout the movie.   When he finally manages to hook up with her, he finds out that she has seven evil ex-boyfriends, each with their own over the top super mutant style abilities.  The only way to win her heart is to defeat them all in glorious Dragon Ball Z meets X-Men style combat. Everything about the movie is over the top.  Anyone who has ever played a classic video game, be it at an arcade or on an old Nintendo will find something to relate to.  The movie is littered with all sorts of gaming references, as well as a soundtrack heavily inf

Language of the Enemy (2008)

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Contrary to popular belief, Blockbuster employees do in fact listen to customer suggestions about movies.  This is one of those that was recommended to me by one of our regulars.  It's something I normally wouldn't have bothered with. The film takes place in Israel, where everyone seems to absolutely despise each other.  Being the stupid American I am, I didn't know a whole lot about this part of the world before the movie, aside from "bombs go off and CNN reports it...sometimes".  A Jew by the name of Romi finds out about a bus explosion in the middle of the city.  Unfortunately, his father was one of the victims, so he flies out to Israel for the first time to visit his family.  When he arrives, he discovers that his brother is part of an anti-Palestinian group who immediately recruit him as an under-cover agent due to his knowledge of the enemy language.  Fast forward, and he meets a Palestinian woman (Joleh) who he instantly falls for (and who just so happen

Locked Down (2010)

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Mixed Marshal Arts sure did explode quickly.  I remember first seeing it on youtube a few years ago and being surprised at how few rules there were.  Though after seeing two or three matches, and realizing that 90% of them turned into a sweaty muscle man hugging match on the floor, I swiftly lost interest.  I didn't expect much from this one to begin with.  It has been sort of a dry spell on movie releases lately, so I'm grabbing whatever I can get, and this just happened to be in the new release pile.  Locked Down's primary character is a cop who is famous for getting hardcore crime bosses around the nation thrown into prison.  One day, he wakes up (after a 10 minute soft core porn style sex scene, wtf?) and is greeted by a swat team who quickly locate a stash of drugs and cash planted under his sheets. Due to some strings pulling by a "mysterious and unknown source", he ends up in the same prison as all of his best criminal buddies.  As is the norm with any

Grown Ups (2010)

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It has been a while since I've seen an Adam Sandler movie.  They definitely tend to bank on the fart/poop/boob jokes quite a bit. This movie is no exception.  There is more flatulence here than a senior center during bean burrito night.  Luckily that isn't the only convention it uses for humor.  Grown Ups is about a group of adults who all chose different paths in life.  You have the stay at home dad (Chris Rock), the Multi-millionaire (Adam Sandler), the slacker/womanizer (David Spade),  the crazy hippy vegan (Rob Schneider), and the co-owner to a lawn furniture company (Kevin James), whatever that is supposed to be .  The 5 friends all have a common ground in a small suburban City where their basketball coach and idol, "Buzzer" dies of old age.  Adam Sandler rents out a lake house and they spend the weekend being kids again.  The movie doesn't have a novel quality story.  The clashing lifestyles and personal attacks are the primary focus here, which is a lot

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010)

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Hollywood sure does to butcher classics.  Luckily, I never watched any of the old Nightmare on Elm Street movies, so they can't crap all over my memories with their green screen shenanigans! I know it's a bit late for a horror movie, but I couldn't rent this one until now. A Nightmare on Elm Street is about a group of teenagers who find themselves haunted by a batshit crazy sadist in their dreams.  Unfortunately for them, these dreams are quite deadly, killing off the majority of them.  It works sort of like a mystery solving movie, where the group is trying to find out why this zombie looking guy has such a  bloodthirsty vendetta against them.  This is something it does well, and the story is definitely intriguing with all sorts of twists.  I have heard countless times that this movie is nowhere near as good as the old ones, so I will most likely be renting them next (if they ever come back, Halloween wiped out the more popular horror movie section).  As a standalone m

Altitude (2010)

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So about 2 weeks ago I was rummaging around on blockbuster online, when I ran into this in the new release section.  It definitely wasn't something we carried in store, so I went ahead and ordered it.  The description promised a supernatural airplane thriller, which seems like a long stretch.  I like to give the low budget disaster style movies a chance.  Every once in a while you hit some really low karat gold and after around 300 swings, you dig up something like this; freakin diamonds.  Altitude's story is too difficult to explain without ruining it.  I went into this movie knowing almost nothing about it, and I think that is the best way to experience it.  Every 30 minutes it seems to borrow from a new genre, from horror, to suspense, to drama, action, mystery, sci-fi, you name it.  The general premise is a group of college students embarking on a plane ride with their inexperienced pilot friend, and accidentally flying into what appears to be storm clouds due to a malfun