Test Blog

Whats with all the apprentice style movies coming out lately?  We had that "Vampires Apprentice" one a while back (which I hated) followed by "Percy Jackson and the Lightning Thief", and we can't forget "Eragon".  There seems to be a trend in movies lately that focus on the training of fledgling magic users.  Maybe everyone just wants to bank on the fumes of Harry Potter as it blows its last load on the two part of the final book (which is the worst book that totally doesn't need two movies). This one plays out almost exactly like all the others.  It's your typical highschool/college kid discovers/becomes a wizard/demi-god/vampire, followed by training for whatever archtype he happens to fit into in those categories (in this case its college/becomes/wizard).  Throw an ancient evil/rogue sorcerer into the mix who wants nothing more than to see this kid fail, and a love interest, and you pretty much have your story! This isn't a bad movie

I haven't had much time lately for movies, but I did manage to rent and watch this after that whole Korean artillery strike thing that went on a few days ago.  This is actually a documentary, not a movie, so I am not really sure how I should go about reviewing it.  It was still a really interesting watch. You can probably guess from the cover art that this is a movie about nukes, and because of this, also involves lots of TERRORISM.  I am pretty tired of the word after so many years of constantly seeing it in the media, but I suppose it can't be ignored!  Most of the film involves things like how many nukes each nation has, and how many of said WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION are...missing.  Yes missing, somehow, our trusted governmental leaders have somehow managed to lose quite a few of these world ending, million dollar explosive devices.  Luckily is doesn't focus on scaring you like some of the other TERRORISM documentaries have in the past,  it's primary goal i

I don't think I have ever seen a more anticipated action movie than this one, with the piles of youtube videos and trailers clocking millions of views.  It seemed to almost drop off the face of the earth when it actually hit the big screen though. I didn't hear anything about it until recently when I found out it was being released next week.  With an all star cast like this, how could they screw it up?  The story is...definitely not the focus here.  Some crazy ass dictator is causing all sorts of trouble for the peaceful inhabitants of a non existent island somewhere in South America.  "The Expendables", a legendary crew of (aging) mercenaries are called in to deal with the issue directly using all sorts of fun explosives and high powered weaponry.  I am a huge fan of well done action movies, but it can't be "copied" action.  There has to at least be an interesting arch villain or new movie mechanic that makes things actually interesting.  A good ex

Asylum, the illustrious creators of movies like "Titanic II" and "Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus" is at it again in this remake of the classic tale of Ahab vs the great white whale Moby Dick.  Yes, that is in fact a modern day ship on the movie poster.  But this is not Ahabs vessel...  Asylum isn't known for modesty in it's films.  Journey into the depths with a custom built whale-hunting military grade nuclear submarine! Now THAT is entertainment! The story is your typical Moby Dick tale with a modern spin.  Ahab was in his 20's when Moby decided to make a meal out of his submarine and kill the rest of the crew.  He escapes with one less leg and a serious grudge against the poor whale.  Fast forward 40 years and Ahab is the captain of his very own military submarine.  Unfortunately, his sanity has taken a pretty serious beating in his old age, and being the genius that he is, he takes off with the 2 billion dollar sub, kidnaps a marine biologist (who talk

My least favorite part of pretty much every movie is the inevitable downfall after the main character(s) hit their climax of success.  Just that feeling of everything crumbling down is uncomfortable.  I have seen a few movies that completely skip this aspect, and to be completely honest, I don't miss it at all.  This movie does the EXACT OPPOSITE.  You can probably guess from the title that the main character (Kevin Carson) wins the lottery. Unfortunately, he finds out that the prize claim office is closed for the holidays.  This is where that dramatic tension comes into play... for the rest of the movie.  See, Kevin isn't the sharpest tool in the shed when it comes to... well anything.  What better way to wait out the weekend than to take a 100,000 dollar loan from a nearby crime boss and blow it all in a day while he waits?  This movie is swimming in African American stereotypes.  Normally it wouldn't bug me too much.  I have found plenty to enjoy in this style of hum

Yay for the holidays, where we are bombarded by all sorts of remakes and Harry Potter movies.  I think this one has been redone 5 times now?  Maybe more if you count all of the cartoon series that attempt to emulate it. Can Jim Carrey and CGI save the franchise from the same disease that cripples most of the other rehashes? I think everyone knows the story here, and if you don't then you are probably from a tribe in the middle of the amazon and not reading this blog anyway.  Everyone's favorite stingy asshole, Scrooge, is doing his best to live out the last few years of life alone as all sorts of people storm into his shop begging him for money.  One chilly Christmas eve night, he is visited by three ghosts that each want to show him how crappy his death will be if he doesn't fix his attitude and start stimulating the economy with his hard earned shillings.  You probably know the rest. The CGI is really well done, and if you have ever read any of my other reviews before

I've always been a fan of the Predator movies.  Like most classics, the last few "revamps" have been less than amazing.  I think this is more due to nostalgia than anything though.  I sometimes wonder what would have happened if these newer Alien and Predator movies were actually released years ago.  Maybe it was just due to the technology back then, and the fact that these days we are much more desensitized to it.  If I go back and watch the old ones, there really isn't THAT big a difference.  They were still somewhat mindless action movies.  But they did it first right?  So I guess that instantly makes them superior to anything we released in the digital age. Predators has a very straightforward story, almost too much so...  They literally just drop the cookie cutter action star team onto an alien planet and say go for it.  If you have seen any Predator movies in the past, you can probably guess why they were dropped there.  It's a game preserve and they are t

I honestly don't like Brendan Fraser much.  The first time I saw him in a movie was years ago and it was probably the most awkward and strange movie I have ever seen, and his character is batshit insane throughout the whole thing.  This has tainted my views of him for life I'm afraid.  Harrison Ford on the other hand is a badass, so when I heard he was in this movie, I had to pick it up.  Extraordinary Measures is about a businessman (Brendan Fraser) who has two kids with the muscle deteriorating disease Pompe (not to be confused with the Volcano, Pompeii).  As his daughter nears her 9th birthday, and the end of the overall lifespan for kids with this disease, he decides to drop everything and focus 100% on a cure for the illness.  Unfortunately, all sorts of medical company nonsense is going on, so he takes matters into his own hands and opens a biotech institute where he recruits the grumpy old Pompe specialist Dr. Robert Stonehill to do the actual sciency stuff.  I hones

I am not normally a fan of Micheal Cera movies.  They are usually way too down to earth and slow for me.  This one on the other hand... holy shit.  It's about time he did something awesome. Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (which I think looks better with a capital T for "the World" but grammar says otherwise) is about a kid who finds himself head over heels in love with a crazy hipster girl with hair that randomly changes colors throughout the movie.   When he finally manages to hook up with her, he finds out that she has seven evil ex-boyfriends, each with their own over the top super mutant style abilities.  The only way to win her heart is to defeat them all in glorious Dragon Ball Z meets X-Men style combat. Everything about the movie is over the top.  Anyone who has ever played a classic video game, be it at an arcade or on an old Nintendo will find something to relate to.  The movie is littered with all sorts of gaming references, as well as a soundtrack heavily inf

Contrary to popular belief, Blockbuster employees do in fact listen to customer suggestions about movies.  This is one of those that was recommended to me by one of our regulars.  It's something I normally wouldn't have bothered with. The film takes place in Israel, where everyone seems to absolutely despise each other.  Being the stupid American I am, I didn't know a whole lot about this part of the world before the movie, aside from "bombs go off and CNN reports it...sometimes".  A Jew by the name of Romi finds out about a bus explosion in the middle of the city.  Unfortunately, his father was one of the victims, so he flies out to Israel for the first time to visit his family.  When he arrives, he discovers that his brother is part of an anti-Palestinian group who immediately recruit him as an under-cover agent due to his knowledge of the enemy language.  Fast forward, and he meets a Palestinian woman (Joleh) who he instantly falls for (and who just so happen

Mixed Marshal Arts sure did explode quickly.  I remember first seeing it on youtube a few years ago and being surprised at how few rules there were.  Though after seeing two or three matches, and realizing that 90% of them turned into a sweaty muscle man hugging match on the floor, I swiftly lost interest.  I didn't expect much from this one to begin with.  It has been sort of a dry spell on movie releases lately, so I'm grabbing whatever I can get, and this just happened to be in the new release pile.  Locked Down's primary character is a cop who is famous for getting hardcore crime bosses around the nation thrown into prison.  One day, he wakes up (after a 10 minute soft core porn style sex scene, wtf?) and is greeted by a swat team who quickly locate a stash of drugs and cash planted under his sheets. Due to some strings pulling by a "mysterious and unknown source", he ends up in the same prison as all of his best criminal buddies.  As is the norm with any

It has been a while since I've seen an Adam Sandler movie.  They definitely tend to bank on the fart/poop/boob jokes quite a bit. This movie is no exception.  There is more flatulence here than a senior center during bean burrito night.  Luckily that isn't the only convention it uses for humor.  Grown Ups is about a group of adults who all chose different paths in life.  You have the stay at home dad (Chris Rock), the Multi-millionaire (Adam Sandler), the slacker/womanizer (David Spade),  the crazy hippy vegan (Rob Schneider), and the co-owner to a lawn furniture company (Kevin James), whatever that is supposed to be .  The 5 friends all have a common ground in a small suburban City where their basketball coach and idol, "Buzzer" dies of old age.  Adam Sandler rents out a lake house and they spend the weekend being kids again.  The movie doesn't have a novel quality story.  The clashing lifestyles and personal attacks are the primary focus here, which is a lot

Hollywood sure does to butcher classics.  Luckily, I never watched any of the old Nightmare on Elm Street movies, so they can't crap all over my memories with their green screen shenanigans! I know it's a bit late for a horror movie, but I couldn't rent this one until now. A Nightmare on Elm Street is about a group of teenagers who find themselves haunted by a batshit crazy sadist in their dreams.  Unfortunately for them, these dreams are quite deadly, killing off the majority of them.  It works sort of like a mystery solving movie, where the group is trying to find out why this zombie looking guy has such a  bloodthirsty vendetta against them.  This is something it does well, and the story is definitely intriguing with all sorts of twists.  I have heard countless times that this movie is nowhere near as good as the old ones, so I will most likely be renting them next (if they ever come back, Halloween wiped out the more popular horror movie section).  As a standalone m

So about 2 weeks ago I was rummaging around on blockbuster online, when I ran into this in the new release section.  It definitely wasn't something we carried in store, so I went ahead and ordered it.  The description promised a supernatural airplane thriller, which seems like a long stretch.  I like to give the low budget disaster style movies a chance.  Every once in a while you hit some really low karat gold and after around 300 swings, you dig up something like this; freakin diamonds.  Altitude's story is too difficult to explain without ruining it.  I went into this movie knowing almost nothing about it, and I think that is the best way to experience it.  Every 30 minutes it seems to borrow from a new genre, from horror, to suspense, to drama, action, mystery, sci-fi, you name it.  The general premise is a group of college students embarking on a plane ride with their inexperienced pilot friend, and accidentally flying into what appears to be storm clouds due to a malfun

For how big of a film this one was, It definitely fell under my radar.  I see pretty much every CGI movie in the theaters.  This is one of the few that I somehow managed to miss completely.  Luckily Toy Story 3 on Blu-ray(Is that supposed to be capitalized?) didn't disappoint in the slightest! Andy has grown up, and unfortunately for our favorite cast of misfit toys, this means the end of their fun loving careers.  Now before you jump up and shout "GOD DAMN IT PIXAR WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO BE SO SAD!", this one manages to surprise you by being light in the drama.  A mixup has the entire crew being tossed into a trash bag and donated to a nearby day care where they meet a whole mess of new toys; including a giant "friendly" pink teddy-bear.  I bet you can guess who the villain of the story is.  The animation has really improved dramatically.  Facial features and general flow of the characters is top notch.  I watched the first one immediately after, and not

Zombie movies are a dime a dozen.  They take place in just about every setting, from New York, to giant under ground laboratories.  Survival of the Dead doesn't veer off from that heavily paved path. It sticks to it's roots like some kind of industrial super glue. The story is simple.  An island off the coast of Delaware is home to two feuding families.  With the sudden rise in undead pests, they end up squaring off on what the correct moral choice is in dealing with the situation.  One side says they can be saved, and chaining them  up until a cure is found is the correct course of action, while the other wants to wipe them out before more appear.  Unfortunately, the leader of choice number two is voted off the island, and you can probably imagine what happens next. That's a pretty deep situation isn't it?  Would you follow the norm and wipe out the zombies?  Or would you keep them as pets?  I happen to be an expert in this very likely situation thanks to years res

When I first saw this movie sitting in our pre-street box, my first reaction was "oh boy.. another chick flick to fake knowing something about, how exciting!".  And for the past month or so I have done just that with the typical, "eh.. its kind of slow... why not try (insert chick flick #100 that everyone is recommending) instead?"  Well I finally sucked it up and watched it and was pleasantly surprised that "The Joneses" is in fact, not at all, a chick flick. The movie is about a family, but they are not actually related in any way.  They are employees in a company that sends out groups of trendsetters for stealth marketing.  Their job is to start fads up in their specific age groups, be it golfing in the middle aged male section, or the lipstick and perfume of the teenage girl demographic. It's rare to find a movie that is just so.. original.  It's awesome how they go about their daily fake lives, silently hinting at different products and se

We have a section in the store of movies that usually aren't very good.  They defy the normal rule of "If it has a blu-ray version, chances are it's high budget!".  This same section is home to exemplary movies like "The Chosen One".  Dorian Gray was in this general area for a good month or two, and I never really had the urge to give it a shot.  After hearing several good reviews on it though from various customers, I decided to throw caution to the wind and rent it. The story takes place during the good old Victorian era of London, where according to just about every movie that takes place there, is completely infested with all sorts of nasty devils, vampires, and werewolves.  This movie is no exception.  Naive young Dorian Gray becomes friends with the legendary womanizer Henry Wotton, who transforms him from innocent 20something year old to party animal in a little less than a week.  Dorian commissions a painter to create a self portrait, and somehow

This one was pretty low on my list.  It's been sitting there for a while, and I keep hearing how awesome it is, so I grabbed it.  For a kids movie, it was actually pretty entertaining.  I just wish my middle school days were as eventful as this movie, I might remember them if that was the case.  Diary of a Wimpy Kid is the story of a kid who is taking the big step from grade school to junior high.  In this transition, he is hoping to change his persona from unpopular and unknown, to top of the class and king of the yearbook.  Unfortunately, his plans for becoming top dog fail completely, and he ends up hitting rock bottom while his fat immature friend that he was attempting to "fix" takes his place at the pinnacle of school fame. This movie is actually pretty funny, even though most of the jokes are elementary nonsense.  Usually these kid movies have horrible acting, and this one still has some scenes of monologue sounding dialogue, but the majority of it is really we

Phase 4 films sure does pump a lot of movies out.  It's surprising really considering I never heard about them before I started working at Blockbuster.  This is one of their most recent ones to be released at rental stores.  Every once in a while you get an awesome movie from them, but this one was sort of in the middle. In an almost documentary style this film follows the journey of a group of journalists who are visiting the Darfur region of Sudan.  For those stupid Americans like myself, this is over there in Africa.  Apparently, a civil war has been going on over there since 1988; well more like genocide.  The reporters are heading to a small village in the center of the conflict to learn all about what is going on in the middle of what is essentially "hell".  For the first 30 minutes or so, it is primarily them interviewing villagers, as well as a full 5-10 minute clip of general village life which was really overdone.  The rest is just..slaughter, more so than an

I actually picked this up hoping it was a horror movie.  There are surprisingly few coming out considering how close it is to Halloween.  It promised "thriller" on the box so I was at least expecting that! But thrills was the exact opposite of what I experienced.  I'm sure it has all sorts of deep underlying themes that I failed to pick up on.  I am no Shakespearean English major though, and this is a blog for the average movie watcher, so I doubt others would find anything either!  Winters Bone is a drama in every sense.  A father ditched his daughter with the responsibility of raising her two siblings and went on the run from the law for cooking crack in his barn out back.  On top of this, he is required for a court date and not showing up means the family loses the house to the law.  So the movie essentially revolves around locating the worlds greatest dad and discovering all sorts of nasty secrets about the nearby drug trade loving yokels.  I honestly fell asleep

I have been crazy busy, and ended up with what I thought was pink eye so I skipped Saturday and Sunday of work (meaning I rented 3/10 of my weekly rentals last week).  Luckily it was not pink eye, and I have already stocked 9 new movies to review for the weekend/early next week. Here is what to expect.. 1) The Jonses- No clue on this one! Rollin the dice! 2) Dorian Gray- Looks like a vampire movie? No clue 3) It's Complicated- chick flick of the week 4) Diary of A Whimpy Kid 5) Ironman 2- Yah I know, way late.  But I wanted to do a review of the DVD release and compare it to the theater like I did with How To Train Your Dragon. 6) Attack on Darfur (pre street) Releases next week 7)  Winters Bone (pre street 2) 8) Survival of the Dead 9) Legendary My final rental was Dead Rising 2.  Sorry, I gotta game some time! And on that note I am resubbing my WoW account.  It's probably a terrible idea but I miss having an MMO to grind away in and Minecraft can only go so

Someone needs to fire whoever created this completely unappealing movie cover, I don't think I have ever seen one so boring looking.  I have said it before though, you really can't judge a movie by the cover, and after people kept telling me to check this one out, I sucked it up and did it.  For the record, this is my check flick of the week.  Temple Grandin follows the story of... Temple Grandin.  Why they couldn't think of something clever like "The Rainman" for an autism movie is beyond me, but if they are in the same department as the art team, then it isn't too surprising.  Uglyness aside, the story is actually really interesting.  A girl who was essentially sentenced to uselessness at the age of four, is instead pushed by her mother to go through high school and college like a normal kid.  Temple learns to cope with her mental issues using techniques of her own design, and comes out with an amazing talent for engineering and architecture.  This is de

I heard horror stories about this one for over a month.  It has been hailed as the worst movie in the store, which is huge when we have over 10,000 movies.  The majority of people I talk to say they don't make it past the 30 minute mark!  I took this as a challenge! "The Chosen One" is about a car salesman who absolutely hates his life.  His wife left him, his job is boring, and his family constantly berates him for everything he does.  The movie starts off with him attempting to burn down his house, and eventually trying to hang himself.  Fortunately for Paul, he fails, and out of nowhere a group of technologically inept holy men from Colombia are knocking at his door calling him The Chosen One. Now normally this would elicit some comedy, which is what the movie was trying to aim for.  I am not sure how you screw up the plot of  "crazy hippies who haven't been out of their cave in a thousand years suddenly finding themselves in the modern world", but so

I watch a ton of movies, and the majority of them are forgotten within a week.  I don't know what it is with Pixar and Dreamworks though... they use some cerebral memory adhesive to really make things stick.  How to Train Your Dragon falls into this category.  I actually saw this in I-Max 3D when it came out, which for me, moves even lowly films up a few notches.  For movies like "How to Train Your Dragon", it makes them all the more epic. The story is your typical "boy befriends wild animal" thing we have seen countless times before, but replace wild animal with Dragon (I think that has been done a few times before too...).  It primarily follows Hiccup, a viking wanna-be who in comparison to the rest of his "class" is a mouse being chased around by jaguars.  The clan he lives with is completely anti dragon, and suffer constant raids from a nearby nest of them.  During one raid, he manages to knock the legendary Night Fury out of the sky with a makes

You know yesterday when I said certain movies are scarier to some than others?  Well this is one of those movies that scared the crap out of me.  Something about crazy undead ghost women stalking people is just straight up creepy.  There isn't much to the story.  A guy named Max gets a job as a night watchmen at his fathers boutique, and as with most horror movies, he has been through a whole mess of psychological trauma.  So naturally, the crazy girl in the mirror trying to kill him is totally a figment of his imagination in everyone else's eyes.  The majority of the movie is Max trying to convince everyone that he is not batshit crazy.  That is pretty much it! But we don't watch horror movies for the story do we?  These movies are here to scare us!  As the title suggests, the majority of the horror in this one is accomplished through the use of mirrors.  It does get a bit old... especially if you have seen a ton of other movies that use mirrors.  It gets to a point wh

I am not a huge fan of rating horror movies.  Certain topics are scarier to some people than others, and certain situations (e.g. daytime/night time/crowded room/alone) can increase or decrease the scariness.  "Orphan" for example scared the crap out of some of my friends who think "The Grudge" is the dumbest movie ever; and that is the complete opposite for me.  Dark House is one of those low budget films for the Fangoria Frightfest, and because of this, it is difficult to compare it to the high budget horror movies most people are used to.    The storyline is pretty simple, but still really interesting.  A class of acting students are offered a job to work for the self proclaimed "King of Horror" who builds haunted houses and theme parks around the country.  He buys out an abandoned orphanage in the suburbs of a small town where a mass murder took place, and sets it up as a haunted house with all sorts of special effects built in for hologram monsters

Creepy little girl? Check... Lots of sudden events that make you jump? Check... Completely over the top twist? Yep!  Orphan is a horror movie (kind of)  that falls into the category of "realistic" horror.  This is where poltergeists and demons dare not venture; instead we meet genuinely creepy individuals whos primary goal is to be completely batshit insane, and in doing so, make you think that there just might be people out there that have the same inner thoughts and motives.  Orphan is about a nine year old girl named Esther, who is adopted by a well off couple with two other children.  The wife is currently recovering from some serious depression and alcoholism, so all of her credibility is thrown out the window when the proper, talented little girl they have taken in starts doing disturbing and destructive things around their quiet little abode.  Of course, Esther being the genius that she is, does these things in secrecy, usually framing others. The entire film follo

I guess I accidentally enabled "blogspot members only" in the comment settings when I created the blog.  Sorry all you Anon readers.  Feel free to post away/criticize.  On a side note, I am always looking to improve my writing.  If you see a typo, or something that looks goofy in general, please let me know!  Anon #1 has already taught me the difference between e.g and i.e.

This one has been sitting on the shelf for a while now.  It's another one of those movies that I set aside primarily due to the boring cover (a terrible habit, I know).  Everyone kept telling me to check it out though, so I threw caution to the wind and rented it. "Solitary Man" definitely has an interesting story, and that's about it.  This isn't a bad thing though; the story is done really well.  Unlike most movies that focus 100% on the story (e.g. The Ghost Writer), this one actually keeps you interested.  A famous and successful car dealership owner (Ben) decides to take a massive risk and ends up nearly being thrown in jail, and losing everything.  The story follows his struggles from this point on, and all of the trouble he gets himself into.  Every time Ben nearly breaks free of his slump, he throws it all away again due to his tendencies to sleep with everyone. That is pretty much it... The acting in this movie is top notch, and probably the primary r

This is another one of those completely unexpected, "don't judge a book by it's cover" movies.  It looks like it is going to be a straight up action movie with gun fights and car chases.  It actually turned out to be more of a drama, with a relatively unique plot. Leaves of Grass follows two twin brothers who have essentially disconnected from one another.  Born and raised in Oklahoma, one chooses a life of higher education and university life (Bill), while the other becomes a weed dealer (Brady).  Now I've never experienced the drug trade firsthand, but I'm pretty sure it's not the best career move, and Brady find that out the hard way.  He borrows 200,000 dollars to build a massive pot greenhouse but fails to pay it back, so he tricks his poor brother into coming back to the state that he absolutely hates and fill in for him twin-style, while he heads to Texas to "deal" with the situation.   Obviously this idiotic scheme doesn't go so wel

I promised some people I would review at least one chick flick a week, and this just so happened to be the most recent one.  Sometimes these movies surprise me.  It's Complicated for example was pretty hilarious (and Date Night but I have been told that is in fact, not a chick flick).  Please Give didn't promise any comedy though, so I broke completely new ground with this one.  Fortunately it did include a grouchy old person, and nothing is funnier than a grouchy old person.  The story is very simple... almost too simple.  It literally is just the daily lives of a group of people living in an apartment building together.  You have your married couple who run a business on the bottom floor, with a wife who is completely obsessed with saving the world and helping those in need, and a husband who is going through a mid life crisis and sleeping with the hot skin care specialist next door.  The skincare specialist has a grandmother who is nearing death, and just happens to be in

Where have I heard this title before...  oh that's right, the 10 other Kung-Fu master movies.  Don't get confused here though, this one isn't a remake of anything.  When a movie comes in, and it has no Blu-Ray counterpart, usually it is considered low budget.  That may sound shallow, but so far it has proven pretty damn true, and this sticks to the formula.  It is essentially kung-fu on steroids mixed with shrooms. In all honesty, it really doesn't have much of a story going for it. It repeats a pattern of : 30 seconds of story, 30 minutes of combat.  Fighting is the main focus here, but be prepared for some serious cornyness. I love kung-fu movies, even the ridiculous ones from the 70's are still some of my favorites.  Right from the get go this film throws all sorts of random junk at you.  The very first fight is some guy in a floating coffin doing what is essentially casket combat.. then right after that we get a team of sharp umbrella users, and another guy

I have said it before.. I am not huge on westerns.  I didn't realize it was yet another comic book movie until the "bonus" comic version on the disc popped up.  I honestly skipped it and went right for the movie... never was one for comics. If it can't entertain me without its obscure DC license, then it shouldn't have been made in the first place!  Luckily, Jonah Hex turned out to be a pretty impressive action movie.  The story is probably the weakest part of the movie.  It follows the same formula as every other revenge action movie; father watches his family killed in front of him and pledges his undying loyalty to an endless goal of revenge against the guy that did it.  Unfortunately for Jonah, his mark decides to (supposedly) get himself killed, so the depressed cowboy becomes a hardcore bounty hunter who completely ignores the law and ends up with a nice bounty on his own head.  After finding out from the military that the man he hunted for 10 years actu

Ahh.. Halloween... The magical time where all sorts of horror movies start popping up.  Some are serious business high budget ghost style films with tons of CGI, while others are trashy and ridiculous.  This one falls somewhere in the middle.  Right from the get go, Night at the Demons lets you know that it is not taking itself seriously with its heavy metal rock music and its slutty cat girl costumes.  Sure, its going to try to scare you, but at the same time its going to awe you with massive cleavage and a haunted house style halloween party with tons of drinking and sex all over the place.  When the cops shut down the booze filled extravaganza, things start to (kind of) take a turn for more horror oriented.  Seven young adults find themselves trapped in the house, and "all hell breaks loose" as the movie poster states. This is one of those that you pick up just to laugh at on Halloween.  It throws all sorts of ridiculous stuff at you.  Don't be surprised by the STD

Hey all, Happy October! I'm currently watching/reviewing a ton of movies for this week.  Primarily stuff that isn't out until tuesday of next week. Here is the list.. (Not yet released) Jonah Hex (Done) Leaves of Grass Arn: Knight templar (lol?) Please Give (Done) Night of the Demons (Done) Kung-Fu Master (Done) (Released) Harry Brown Solitary Man I will probably throw How To Train Your Dragon in there once it comes in, but I have already seen it in theatres so I might just review it from memory.  I have been trying to avoid this since movie rentals are for TV's, not theatre screens (which I believe is a totally different experience) but I have almost maxed my rentals for the week and we are getting more in soon ;p That does leave 2 slots open for either HTTYD or some suggestions, so feel free to add some you want to see reviewed by me in the comment section of this post. I'm also going to try to add a better "list" of movies (with pict

I think everyone experiences frustration with laws and regulations at least a few times in their lives.  Our justice system isn't exactly foolproof, hell it has more holes than Swiss cheese that was recently shot by a scattergun.  This movie portrays the most extreme level of failure on the judicial systems part, and one mans quest to fix the wrong that was done to him. The story follows Clyde Shelton, a simple engineer who follows the laws to a T.  Then out of nowhere, a pair of robbers break into his home and kill/rape his wife and daughter... ouch.  Unfortunately for Clyde, he was knocked out during the robbery and not allowed to testify.  On top of this, the forensic investigation was screwed up, and one of the burglars escapes with only a breaking and entering charge.  Clyde is furious, and spends 10 long years cooking up a massive Rube Goldberg machine style revenge plan that is the basis of the entire movie. The acting really sets this one apart.  Gerard Butler does an e

I have been really busy lately with piles of homework and haven't had a chance to rent anything to watch.  Hopefully I can head over to my store tomorrow and pick up my weekly rentals. Until then, did you know my website was considered an "adult" website due to the word o.rgy?  I've added periods after the o's to fix that in case you were wondering. Anyway see you tomorrow!

I didn't expect much here, but I was still praying for an American pie style movie.  I loved those movies (minus the new ones).  This is far from an American pie though.  It's more of the outhouse behind the motel six on interstate 14 pie. All American O.rgy is about a group of couples who want to spice things up a bit by having their first o.rgy.  Unfortunately these couples don't exactly see eye to eye right from the start, so when they do finally meet up all hell breaks loose.  And by all hell, I mean a pile of really horrible pick up lines and bad acting.  There honestly isn't much more to talk about when it comes to the plot.  That is pretty much the basis of it. I am not sure what category this movie is trying to place itself into.  The cover art screams fun, stupid comedy;  but when you actually watch it , it plays out more like a soap opera. I guess some people could find a likable story in there.  Maybe it's niche is with the o.rgy loves out there?  The

We only received 3 of these.  It was a mystery to everyone in the store... but only I was brave enough to open the Pandora's box of horror movies.   The back of the box hinted at it being the most grotesque and horrifying film of the decade.  Could it stand up to it's own hype? The movie is about this crazy Japanese-German doctor who decided it would be a great idea to try combining his three dogs into a single triple-dog entity.  Unfortunately,  his new best friend dies and the heartbroken surgeon decides he wants to up the ante on his next project.  He captures two girls and another a poor unsuspecting tourist, and connects their digestional tracts together to form a brand new human centipede! The concept alone should be enough to raise red flags, but this movie really does stretch the boundaries of...boredom.  The idea is completely ridiculous, and difficult to take it seriously.  The acting is awful, especially the two girls who seem to be making it a career goal to be

I expected something weird with this one, and it definitely didn't disappoint.  In fact, it ranks up there as one of the strangest movies I have seen in the last 10 years. Splice is about a team of scientists (primarily 2 of them) who are on the verge of a major biological breakthrough.  Unfortunately, the company they are working for is also right there ready to cut their funding.  Being the exemplary scientists that they are, they decide to take matters into their own hands and continue their new "human engineering" project in secret.  This eventually leads to the creation of the alien looking creature you see in the movie poster.  "Dren" as they call her is a mix of several different types of (non agressive) creatures, and topped off with human (which is, as most movies tend to point out these days, the epitome of evil).  This movie calls itself a horror movie, but I really didn't see much until the last 20 minutes or so that would constitute frighten

Now I understand a lot of people obsess over "the classics".  There is no denying that movies from back in the 80's were great.  Every once in a while though, an old series needs a reboot.  Most of these flop; all the others go through what is essentially fanboyism.  The Karate Kid falls into category B.  The majority of reviews are chock full of 20+ year old's nostalgia of the good old days, and because of this, it was critically hated.  I also grew up watching these movies, but luckily my memory is awful.  If you expect this movie to be a carbon copy of karate kid 1, 2, and 3, then you will be sorely disappointed.  It is completely modernized.  I really don't see this as a negative though.  The old movies had their charm, but compared to the fight choreography we have today, the scenes in the old stuff are just downright corny. The current generation (ie the primary audience for this film) has higher expectations. The Kung Fu in this revamp is all around super