• Kung-Fu Master (2010)

    Where have I heard this title before...  oh that's right, the 10 other Kung-Fu master movies.  Don't get confused here though, this one isn't a remake of anything.  When a movie comes in, and it has no Blu-Ray counterpart, usually it is considered low budget.  That may sound shallow, but so far it has proven pretty damn true, and this sticks to the formula.  It is essentially kung-fu on steroids mixed with shrooms.

    In all honesty, it really doesn't have much of a story going for it. It repeats a pattern of : 30 seconds of story, 30 minutes of combat.  Fighting is the main focus here, but be prepared for some serious cornyness.

    I love kung-fu movies, even the ridiculous ones from the 70's are still some of my favorites.  Right from the get go this film throws all sorts of random junk at you.  The very first fight is some guy in a floating coffin doing what is essentially casket combat.. then right after that we get a team of sharp umbrella users, and another guy who fights using an instrument with strings that come to life.  If this is starting to sound like a really bad Naruto episode, then I am describing it perfectly.  Later on in the film we meet the bench army, who's primary weapon is...benches.  It's literally a hundred man team swinging around benches wrestler style.  

    The main character is a humble Shaolin monk who deflects spears with his Adam's apple and breaks swords in half with his face (though the weapons in this movie are beyond rubbery so he MIGHT be cheating).

    The acting in the movie is just stupid, with all sorts of awkward over-done facial expressions and sound effects that don't match what is actually going on.  It reminded me of one of those cosplay youtube videos at some points.

    The movie picks up big time near the end.  It's like the choreographers were learning as they were going, and I really wanted to give this movie a 3 for originality, but the reality is, most people will probably turn it off within the first 20 minutes.

    Kung-Fu master gets a 2/5 for breaking my kung-fu heart with a flying umbrella coffin kick to the sternum.

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